What is it that makes some people able to stay calm, composed and successful in a tough environment? The answer is simple, they have healthy self-esteem.

Of course the first step here is to define exactly what self-esteem is, so here goes, let’s get out the dictionary and look it up.  Webster’s defines self-esteem as the belief in oneself or self-respect. Wikipedia defines it as: A term used in psychology to reflect a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth.

By either definition, it should be clear that self-esteem is what will make a big difference in how you experience your life. If you don’t have much, life will seem dark and foreboding and if you do it life will seem more like a beautiful sunny day.

In his recently published book, Well Being, Tom Rath states that our social network has a profound effect on our overall sense of happiness and therefore, self-esteem. With that in mind, here are some tips to serve as a spring board to building your self-esteem.

Tip #1: Create a Positive Work Environment

Find someone you that you work with that you can make your “best friend” at work. This is someone that shares not only the same employer, but also similar goals and aspirations. Research has shown that individuals that have an office best friend are seven times more likely to be invested in their jobs, are better at working engaging customers, produce higher quality work, have higher well being and are less likely to get injured on the job.

Tip #2: Choose Your Associates Wisely

Believe it or not, we all influence each other’s attitudes and emotions, even if we’re not directly connected. A 30 year study by Harvard University found that your odds of being happy increase by 15% if a direct connection in your social network is happy. It also found that even if it is an indirect connection, the friend of a friend, your odds of being happy still increase by 10% and if removed yet another level to you friend’s friend’s friend, your level of happiness can still increase by 6%. So pick your social network carefully and yes this includes online networks like FaceBook, MySpace and Twitter.

If you find that you have bulldozers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, permanent victims, controllers, naggers, or constant complainers in your network, maybe, it is time to “unfriend” them.

Tip #3: Let Go of the Past

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when you experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. Treat each failure and mistake as a stepping stone to greater success. After all, Thomas Edison failed a thousand times before he created a working light bulb.

Tip #4: Develop a Positive World View

You are responsible for who you are, what you have and what you do. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self-esteem and drawing lines for self-improvement is a choice.

Fill your consciousness with positive uplifting thoughts rather than simply letting it be filled with negatives from others when you aren’t paying attention. Seek out news and stories about successful people and how they are making a difference in the world.

Building self-esteem will lead to self-improvement in your attitude, your behavior and your way of thinking. You will become more positive contented, happy and appreciative of everything and everyone in your life.

JACK CANFIELD – Positive Thinking for Self Esteem

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